Q1

Q:To learn how others view friendships and what issues arise in their friendships, visit the Friendship Page.  This site offers songs, poetry, and quotes about Friendship, as well as chat rooms and an advice forum.  To what extent do the issues raised in the advice forum reflect challenges to friendship discussed in this chapter?  http://www.friendship.com.au/

A: I think that the advice given in the forum is very scattered. There are many different definitions for friendship and especially in the poetry and quotes sections everything is pretty much scattered. Some are referring to friends and how the true one are the ones that have your back or the ones that stab you in the front. Basically telling the difference between a true friend and a "classmate" friend. Many of the quotes I have seen or read before and it was quite interesting to reread them again now that I'm older and many are true. As a child those quotes about friendship felt so old fashioned and outdated. On the advice forum it was really messy. I'm not quite sure what I'm even looking at. I guess the main problem here is communication! All I see is scattered posts that look like this:

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Q3

Q:Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail

A: The topic that I would like to talk about today is the little orange section labeled as Diversity on page 205. Throughout my life I have dealt with and have seen a lot of disabled and elderly. I'm not sure if it is because I enjoy talking to them or if I just happen to meet them and talk to them just because. I　ｈａｖｅ　ａｌｍｓｏｔ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｄｅｖｅｌｏｐ　ａ　ｗｏｎｄｅｒｆｕｌ　ａｎｄ　ｆｉｌｌｉｎｇ　ｒｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓｈｉｐ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｗａｙ　ｏｆ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｔ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｅｔａｉｌｓ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｓｏａｋ　ｕｐ　ａｒｅ　ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎt. For example, my freshman year high school English teacher was blind. Most students in the class laughed at him, made fun of him, and purposely caused trouble just because he was visually impaired. I gradually started to go to class early because lunch was right before this class just to join him for a few minutes. It felt really sad to see him eating all by himself and feeling around everything to find his dropped spoon or his lunch bag. So, I sat and spoke to him and I learned so many new things. Turns out, if you are blind you can still see light, dark, and movement. He has like supersonic hearing and and listen to lots of words per minute and the "fly noise" that was really popular because most teachers couldn't hear it. I think that everyone that is disabled in anyway should be respected. There is no need to be fake and baby or treat them much different than how you would treat a random stranger walking by on the street.

Q2

Q: Think of an interaction in which you felt disconfirmed or defensive.  Describe how others in the situation communicated toward you.  How many of Gibb's defensiveness-producing communication behaviors can you identify as present in the situation?

A: I'd say the best example I have for this is in high school when everyone is clustered in their groups and one pair of my friends broke up and caused a huge chaotic "he said" "she said" in the group.  I stood between the two because they had been my more honest and reliable friends for all four years of high school. The female had most of the female friends around her saying a lot of negative things about the male and constantly said it was his fault and he's the one that was wrong and why she shouldn't feel bad and such. Most of the phrases listed in the textbook on page 204 were evident in both sides of the situation. When the male and female fought they often said things in the acknowledgement and when they were with their group of friends they were further endorsed. When you think back and really think through the whole situation was a bit hilarious because of how they would gather on two opposites sides of the classroom and have their battles.

Q1

Q: Have you found it difficult to confirm others when you disagree with them?  If so, does reading this chapter help you distinguish between recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement?  Can you distinguish between confirming others as people and endorsing particular ideas?


A: I most definitely have found it difficult to confirm others when I disagree with them, especially my parents whom are very traditional and modern at the same time. For example, I am a college student yet my curfew is 5:30pm and I have to be in bed by 10:00pm every night. I generally do not mind because it gives me an excuse to NOT go to those drinking parties and what not, but when it comes to doing group projects or homework or hanging out with friends I haven't seen in a long time, it gets really stressful because the period of time which I CAN and am AVAILABLE to meet up are ridiculous. As I grew older, I appreciate the fact that I can sleep a comfortable 8 hours or at least 6 hours a night. I never saw the point to comparing who has the least amount of sleep that night because in the long run, it is your body and all those sleepless nights will come back and bite you when you get old and elderly. I also accepted the fact that going home at 5:30pm is okay because of the way my homework schedule is worked this semester. But, for other semesters I will still nag at my parents for more time outside and get punished with guilt trips of how I should contribute to the family since I am living at home. Reading this chapter definitely created fine lines between the differences between confirm and disconfirm what people say. There are times when I am trying to explain my situation to another person and I couldn't quite find the words to describe these particular thoughts of what I think of another into words, so the section gave me almost a concrete definition and created lines for me. 

Q3

A very nice guideline which I would like to discuss this week is responding sensitively when others communicate emotions. I have developed the skill thoroughly as I grow into an adult and would like to discuss the guidelines in detail and how much help they will be in every form of communication you will have because majority of the population communicates with emotions. Essentially you don't even cut them off or encourage them to talk about their problems unless they want to talk about it with you and feel comfortable talking about it with you. I have learned from experience that if someone is crying sadly don't ever ask "are you ok?" because the answer will almost always be some answer that is not the reason why they are crying. Don't ask "do you want to talk about it?" because it will most likely be no as well. The best response for this situation if you truly care about the person is to just sit there and be there for them. There is no need to say anything, the fact that you are sitting there with tissues or patting their back is enough and more than sufficient. (of course, this is a general case, there are exceptions) If someone is currently speaking to you about a problem and how they feel about it do not butt in with your thoughts or what you would do, what you did in their situation, and all those other variations. The purpose of you listening to their problem is for them to vent unless they are seeking your advice or your responses.  If someone is coming at you and yelling at you angrily do not respond with anger. Instead, just calmly listen and try to piece together why they are feeling or thinking this way. I know that it will be vary hard to do, especially if they are trying to fish your anger so there will be a fight, but it solves the problem much more easily.

Q2

Q: Review the fallacies discussed in the last section of this chapter.  Do any of these fallacies show up in your intrapersonal communication?  After reading about the fallacies and ways to challenge them, can you monitor and revise your intrapersonal communication?

A:  The common fallacies discussed in this chapter are: perfectionism, obsession with shoulds, over-generalization, taking responsibility for others, helplessness, and fear of catastrophic failure. The fallacies are fairly self explanatory as to what type of fault they are, essentially these will trigger emotions and cause us to make decisions for possibly the wrong reasons. After taking the critical thinking course I have fall pit to these fallacies less and less, however, there is a major downside which is I start to zone out because I am trying to explain to myself that if the claim is not backed up be wary. Majority of the people do fall pit to these fallacies and it is hard for me to change their mind, especially if they are old and stubborn and will not listen to logic and reason and instead choose to "follow their experience" or their own agenda. I find myself over and over again trying to convince others that what they think is not true and they have to evidence to back up their thoughts and claims to a point where I get tired and just let them do as they choose.

Q1

Q: The book discusses different perspective on emotions.  Which perspective - of what combination of several - makes the most sense to you?  Why?  Explain how the perspective you favor gives you insight into emotions that you don't get from other perspectives.

A:  The perspective that makes the most sense to me is the cognitive labeling view of emotions, however, I am extremely guilty of the perceptual view of emotions. The reason for why I do not consistently cognitively label my emotions is because it really requires you to sit down and really think about what happened and think whether or not your immediate response to the external event is correct. This perspective is my desired perspective because it challenges me to think about the "is this really what I think it is or is there another reason?"; essentially to put myself in another shoes. The textbook gave a great example with the child whom was startled. Psychologically the child would have had permanent fear of dogs if she was not explained as to why the dog jumped at her. By explaining to her that the dog was overjoyed to see her and have a new friend and someone to play with, the dog became her new best friend and the fear was "erased". The main difference is just taking a step back to analyze what has happened rather than go to the immediate emotion which you feel that could change your attitude on the situation.