Q3). Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail.
A: The topic which I would like to discuss this week is the section labeled "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". I think that after knowing someone a long time and being very comfortable with them we start to see more and more of their flaws enlarged. What we "dismiss" in the beginning may become the thing we hate the most about the person. In my own personal relationship, one that I'm not very comfortable with is his messiness. His trunk is like a junkyard and I dismiss it sometimes and I start nagging at him sometimes to clean it up. But, then I mentally decided in my mind, instead of getting angry at him for a dirty trunk I should just clean it up myself. Probably will only take me 20 minutes to get everything cleaned, deodorized and in vacuumed.
I agree with you! When we first start a relationship we have what I like to call "boyfriend/girlfriend goggles". This meaning that we are blinded by our infatuation with the person and as such, choose to see only the positives of that person. Eventually as we become more and more comfortable with them and our emotional high calms down, we begin to see more clearly everything about their personality; the flaws and the virtues. Thus, it becomes natural that we over dramatize their little flaws. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteBesides the topic I found interesting which was about maintaining equity in the family, I also thought this section of the book was interesting. Not sweating the small stuff is definitely something a lot of individuals need to do in order to feel more comfortable around people. I really liked your post, because I have definitely experienced what you talked about. “What we dismiss in the beginning may become the thing we hate the most about the person”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. In the beginning of my relationship, I dismissed the way my boyfriend drove, but now as I have gotten comfortable with him, every time I get in his car we start arguing about his driving because I absolutely hate it! I shouldn’t be sweating the small stuff, but I still do and I definitely need to work on not doing it anymore.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely and experience the same problem in my relationship. I often find myself thinking about how some small aspect of what my boyfriend is doing is wrong in some way and end up dramatizing it until it seems like a big deal. One morning he was making pancakes and he did a step differently than I would have which I deemed as “wrong”. I was about to call him out on it until I realized how ridiculous I was being. He was making pancakes for me and I was about to nag him about the way he was making them?? The phrase “Don’t sweat the small stuff” is always on my mind now and keeps me in check when I start to exaggerate silly flaws that hardly matter.
ReplyDeleteGreat post this week! I also found this section to be really interesting. I think it’s really important to remember not to sweat the small stuff because it can be so easy to let little things get to you. In my last relationship, it didn’t bother me in the beginning that he spoke to his family in French. I thought it was a beautiful language to listen to and I enjoyed observing them interact. However, as the years went on I found it to be really aggravating that I couldn’t understand what they were talking about and always felt really left out when I was around them. If I had just tried to pick up the language, or maybe vocalize my feelings a bit more, it probably wouldn’t have ended up bothering me so much
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