Q3

Q: Free topic

A: The topic which I want to talk about this week is remembering. Memory is a very useful skill in any situation. A reliable memory is worth much more than scattered paper or post its telling you what is what and what needs to be done. I consider memory to be a skill because not everyone has the ability to recall information exactly. As stated by the book, we remember only the gist of what was said to us eight hours after a conversation. If you exercise your memory everyday it is much easier for you to recall information more exact and with more confidence. The way that I exercise my memory skill to assist me in remembering things is to memorize vocabulary words. When I was in high school every day I would memorize five words and then ten words the next day and then fifteen, etc until I hit twenty-five on Saturday and take Sunday's off. It is really tiring and hard in the beginning, but I can guarantee that you will no longer be taking heavy notes and studying as much for finals and tests because you learn to retain and do away your memory at will.

Q2

Q: The International Listening Association (ILA) http://listen.org is a rich resource for learning more about listening and networking with others who recognize its importance in everyday life.  Its website features exercises to test and improve listening, factoids about listening, Internet discussion groups, quotes about the nature and value of listening, and a bibliography for those who want to read more.  Review "Listening is a 10 part skill", and report on what you learned:  http://listen.org/Resources/Documents/Nichols10PartSkill.pdf

A:  I love how straight forward this book is. (At least I think it was a book...or a pamphlet) I once again reviewed the different ways of nonlistening, how to change those habits, and the consequences of not listening. I love how the author tells us that we should engage in conversation and keep thoughts and important information in our mind. Sort of like how we would annotate a book as we read. If we find anything interesting or anything that toggles a question, write it down or keep it in your mind. When you actually engage in the conversation and find a way to make it interesting you are more likely to listen get the most out of the conversation or lecture. I once again will reference my monotone professor whom everyone has trouble focusing on sometimes. I absolutely love him, but there are days where I get distracted but I find ways to engage in the class by pretending he is speaking in a cool foreign accent. Another great reference I have are huge lecture halls where everyone around you is either taking notes by hand, typing away on their laptop, texting, playing games, etc and you are trying your best to pay attention. There are times I really wish I was back in the high school or middle school setting where the teacher would find activities for us to do to learn the material rather than just lecture, so, in order to get myself to engage in the lecture and not drift into my own thoughts, I would do mind maps. Especially for those that are more visual or a bit scatted mind maps really help organize everything and keep you in check. It provided visual appeal so I'll be more likely to pay attention and take pretty notes for me to refer back to. I was taught most of these "skills" as a child such as hold your tongue, and even if someone isn't interesting listen to them because they will always know at least one thing you don't know, it doesn't hurt to spend a few minutes listening to something you already know over again. Listening is really a great skill that is not stressed enough. Most people focus on public speaking rather than it's opposite "listening". Sometimes if you just open your ears to listen and your eyes to watch you learn so much about a person and almost everything that is able to be offered by the world. It is a necessity skill that is so often overlooked it pains me when I have to repeat myself several times.

Q1

Q: Review the six types of nonlistening discussed in this chapter.  Are any of them common in your communication?  Make a plan to overcome this type of nonlistening you have engaged in.  Describe the type of nonlistenging you engage in, and discuss how you plan to fix is.

A: The six types of nonlistening are: pseudolistening, monopolizing, selective listening, defensive listening, ambushing, and literal listening. Pseudolistening means that it looks as if you are listening, but you actually zoned out into our own thoughts. I often do this when I am speaking to someone that enjoys gossiping or talks about unintellectual subjects such as the clothes they saw at the mall, what he said/she said, and gossip. I mind the subjects very boring and resort to saying "uh-huh, uh huh" so it would get boring talking to me. Monopolizing means to keep the center of attention on yourself. For example, I have a few friends in high school whom always found a way to weave theirselves or their own experiences into the topic we, or our group, was discussing. So, one person would talk about the new iPhone 5 that had just come out and she would but in with her thoughts and saying that her Samsung Galaxy 3 is way better and how much fun she has using it and etc etc...Pretty much to a point where everyone just wanders off elsewhere or starts their own topic. Selective listening means we go in and out of the conversation and focus only on the things we want to hear. For example, my current math professor sort of has a monotone voice, but he teachers amazingly well. I start to zone out and keep copying the notes, but I am not "listening" to a single word he is saying. He suddenly says "the quiz on Thursday is on..." and everyone, including me automatically perks up their head and ears to hear what he has to say. Defensive listening means to be very aware of any critique you might receive and take it personally. I personally do not encounter this often. I am very careful with my choice of words to not insult or compare anyone to another person, but I do see this happening a lot with others where they accidentally let slip something that angers another. Ambushing means to find holes in another speakers words so you can "stuff a sock" in their mouth and hopefully watch them struggle to get out of it. For example, a lot of times when we are buying a used car the sales person will keep pushing you and trying to sell you the car. They could be talking about how good the mileage is or something but never really get into if the car has been in previous accidents or if someone died in the car from a car accident. Literal listening means you ignore the relationship which you have with the person. I often encounter this with my managers and supervisors. It seems sometimes that all they care about is getting their paycheck and if you can't make it during your shift go find someone to cover for you. I suppose the most common one in my life is pseudolistening and I do it intentionally mainly because I honestly don't care for those topics and my friends know that. By just responding "uh huh uh huh" they know that I have zoned out and I am not their gossip partner.

Q3

Q: Pick one concept from the reading this week and discuss it in detail

A:The topic that I found the most interesting this week was mind reading. I have fairly good luck when I am "assuming" what a close family member or friend is thinking. I can easily put myself in others shoes and think like them. Although, unlike the example, I do not make my own plans and disregard another person's plans unless it was intentional to be a surprise or something. It would have to be something big like a birthday or anniversary for me to do those "I planned for you!" type of deal. So, in my opinion, the trick to "mind reading" is to just think like the other person. You have to be very sensitive and aware of how they respond to questions and their physical body language when they speak to you. It helps a lot if you know them very well, like a boyfriend or your mom. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves. When you ask them a question such as "How was work today?" it is normal to respond somewhere along the lines of "it's alright" or "it was okay" or even "good". You can't really get a conversation going. But, if you pay enough attention you can see that when they say "it's alright" and nod their head a little, it means it was a normal day. If they do a lip smacking or a "umm" before responding with "it was okay" it was probably stressful at work and you should help lighten up their mood and before if you are going to ask or mention any bad news. And if they just say "good" it's a bit of a wild card. Although you are "assuming" in these cases, you can pay close attention to their body language which helps you guess what they are thinking, especially if they are not the talkative time.

Q2

Q: Visit the Free Speech Museum's Hate Speech Page.  What did you learn about how hate speech is defined, who engages in it, and efforts to regulate hate speech on the Web?  What should be done about hate speech on the Web and off it?  Should we censor it?  Would doing so violate our constitutional right to freedom of speech?  Are there other, perhaps less formal, ways to reduce hate speech?   http://www.spectacle.org/freespch/musm/hate.html

A: Hate speech is defined as "communication that vilifies a person or group based on color, disability, ethnicity, gender, nationality, race, religion, sexual orientation, or other characteristic" on Wikipedia. In simple English, it means to express hatred loudly and bluntly. Mostly those who are racist engage in this activity. Some of the efforts to regulate hate speech on the web is to simply ban it by law. I think that hate speech definitely should be kept at a minimum; especially for those who take offense easily. Although it is common to see many races, nationalities, and sexual orientations in the bay area, other parts of the United States and other countries do not have similar views as us. One of San Francisco's favorite land marks is "Gay Street" and all of their celebrations and gay lounges/bars. A lot of time when you read the news a lot of teens are taken into offense when friends, family members, classmates, etc. laugh, make fun of, or hate the fact that they are gay or lesbian. A lot of people have narrow minds and are not open to this new generation of people being created along with the technology. With the ease of access of the internet, its honestly very hard to regulate every single thing that happens and even little blog posts that are written on the topic. I believe that off web these people that are being hated upon, whether it is because of their skin color or their accent, should learn to be proud of who they are and not take offense so easily. Offline, they should build confidence and understand that some people are just narrow minded and have potty mouth. You can't control what they say but you can control your own actions. Be proud of who you are and stand up for yourself and others can say whatever makes them happy. Unless they come knocking on your door like KKK, you should just brush it off. Online, to make it more safe, there should be a filter to these websites. Not saying I support Sopa, but I think that the government or companies should definitely do some weeding and take out growing hate sites or hate videos on YouTube. I had a friend tell me that there is a Russian girl on YouTube who hates on the gays and lesbians and a lot of them went to go kill themselves after watching her video or hearing about it.  Honestly, YouTube, take it off. Please be more aware of what these people are posting online. I think that censorship is stupid. If Sopa had passed I honestly would give up on the future. A lot of amateurs build home brew games and stuff on the internet and if Sopa were to take over and censor things like that. There is no way for censorship to just censor out the hate speeches. If we censor, we will most likely go all the way. In the United States, we highly value our freedom speech. By disagreeing we explore more options. Everyone is allowed to have opinions and definately this, in my opinion, does not violate freedom of speech. Whether or not this is considered starting a riot I will change my answer as need be because the effects of simple YouTube videos is quite amazing. I think that a hate speech awareness is very important. If we could push "Don't text and drive" with advertisements and actors and actresses it is possible to push "no hate speeches" if we really decided to. It just depends on how heavy of an impact this becomes in the United States.

Q1

Q: Think about different metaphors for American society.  For many years, the country was described as a melting pot, which suggests that differences between citizens are supposed to melt down and blend into one unified character.  Recently, some have criticized this melting pot metaphor because it emphasizes wiping out differences, not respecting them.  The Reverend Jesse Jackson refers to the United States as both a rainbow and a family quilt.  Both of Jackson's metaphors emphasize recognizing and appreciating differences.  What metaphor would you propose?

A: I propose that America is more like a family quilt than a rainbow. It just depends on the point of view or standpoint in the position. America is composed of many immigrant and it's true, we all originated from somewhere. The only people who are "true Americas" are the Native Americans. (pun intended). The Europeans and Spanish came to North America by boat. So, historically speaking, we were at one point as different as the North and South pole. To be able to come together for the thirteen colonies was like the first step of making a quilt. If I am correct, the original flag was a quilt as well which further symbolizes how the United States is "United" because everyone is bound together. If we speak in terms of the American culture, I definitely see how some people may think that the melting pot is bogus. To come together does not always mean you have to become homogeneous. Just like something as simple as PB&J sandwich. Who knew crushed up nuts and preserved fruit on bread would be a classic and taste so good? They go very well together and are often seen as the classic combination, but it doesn't mean they have to be all mixed and blended in a blender. Every single person in the United States is special. Whether it's their ancestor or their culture we all come together under the flag of the United States. And just like PB&J sandwich, we are unified and together, but it does not mean we have to be blended together. What makes us different makes as unique!

Q3

Q: Choose any topic and discuss in detail.

Ans: The topic I'm choosing this week is Johari's window. I first came across this concept/term from my public speaking professor. He strongly emphasized the idea of "greater self". One of the first things we learned in his class was Johari's window before we learned any other public speaking skill. Johari's window is split into four quadrants. The open area symbolizes the "area" or part of yourself that you see and understand and the part of you that others see and understand. Basically, the way you see yourself and the way others see you.  The blind area is almost exactly the same except it's about the things you don't see yourself doing. Perhaps you have a habit of pushing up your glasses whenever you are stuck on a math problem. You yourself don't realize this habit because it is done unconsciously but others around you see that part of you. The third quadrant is composed of what you see yourself and what is unknown to others. For example, your sister has died in a car accident, but if you do not reveal the fact to others, others will not know of this secret. The fourth and final quadrant is essentially the mystery quadrant. The part of you that you don't know and those around you don't know. This was described as "your soul" by my professor. The unknown holds a lot of potential. Maybe you have never danced in your life and no one has ever seen you dance; this would fall into the unknown area. Johari's window is definitely a topic worth sitting and really thinking about because in the future when we are looking for our future employers we want to be presenting the best of ourselves intentionally and unintentionally.

Q2

Q: You may want to reread the section on race and identity in this chapter.  What is race?  Is race a useful way to classify people?  Why or why not?  Do you think the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races to define themselves?

Ans: Race is defined as a "primary aspect of personal identity" in the textbook. On dictionary.com race is defined as: a group of persons related by a common decent or heredity. Basically, the linage of people who share similar physical and also genetic characteristics. I do not think that race should be the primary way to identify a group of people as described in the textbook, but it definitely should not be done away with. In the current year of 2012, if we look around the streets in San Jose we see a mixture of people. Although it is not common in other cities and states to see such a wide variety the bay area is a pretty good representation of the future. There are a lot of interracial marriages and relationships as we speak; however, many still choose to stay within their own linage because of family demands or the ability to share a common culture. Those that are more traditional in their own culture at home, such as Japanese, may, most likely than not, have clashing cultures with the traditional Americans. When a couple share different backgrounds it is hard to find enough common ground to last a long lasting marriage. BUT, the child which they create, the "hybrids", are a mixture of the two extreme races. They essentially are creating a new "breed" or generation. (These may not be the best choice of words, but I think it makes the most sense to use these words. Sorry if they have offended you.) With this mixing of the races we reduce racism by not being able to label a particular person "Asian" or "White" or "Black" when filling out forms. At the current state where there are still some extremists who stay within their own "race", I think that the Census Bureau should allow people to check multiple races.

Q1

Question: Talk with one man and one woman who are 20 years older than you.  Talk with one woman and one man who are 40 years older than you.  In each conversation, ask them to explain how men and women were expected to be when they were 20 years old.  As them to explain what behaviors, goals, and attitudes were considered inappropriate for woman and men when they were 20 years old.  Compare their responses with view held by 20-year-olds today.  Discuss your findings in a blog post.

Ans: I am turning twenty this year so the people I interviewed we're around their sixties. I decided to interview my grandma since I was there writing her checks anyways. She said that when she was twenty she had been working and supporting her family. She lived in the city so she wore semi-formal attire casually and made sure to do her make up everyday. It was considered inappropriate for a young lady to be casually dressed in pajamas, work out clothes, and "revealing attire" (such as short shorts or wearing a camisole as a top). When I asked my peers who were also twenty they said that almost any attire is appropriate as long as something is coming their private parts. Women's goal in life, back in the day, was to tend to the family, tidy the house, and take care of the kids. The men were expected to be the head of the household and bring home the paycheck. Their ultimate goal in life was to reproduce and create the "classic" family. Anyone who derived from the norm, such as a women as the head of the household or a women bringing home the paycheck and not taking care of the husband and children were looked down upon. Although we, as females, see her as a strong and responsible woman to be able to support her family, the community was not very supportive of such women once they were married. If the men were gay or desired to be single, or not find a job and be able to support themselves by their early twenties it was considered to be a shame to the family. For our current generation, it isn't really considered inappropriate to have any goal or attitude in life. The current is society is very relaxed in terms of standards. At most, it is considered inappropriate to be a prostitute or a beggar.

Q3

Q: Create own topic from Ch. 1

A: The topic I have chosen to be the most significant is meaning creating. Just as the text states meaning creating is most definitely the heart of all communication and interaction. Regardless if it is your boss or your significant other you develop your own "language" between one another. When people form groups or pairs they develop their own language. Often we see groups of friends go hang out together somewhere and they can refer a specific event that happened that is known only within the group because they were there together. A simple hand gesture or imitation of a sound could invoke a meaning that any third party will not and could not understand. Now, because of that shared memory and meaning of a word or sound or gesture they have created a deeper level of a relationship and communication. For example, friend A in a group can suddenly ask friend B "How was dinner last night?" and both friend A and friend B know that they were referring to the blind date that friend B was set up with while any other third part would think that the question could be just a simple conversation starter.