Q: Identify a relationship of yours that has become closer over time.
Describe the earliest stage of the relationship. Was it an I-It or an
I-You relationship at the time? During that early stage of the
relationship, what did you talk about? Were there topics of kinds of
talk you avoided? Now, describe the current relationship. What do you
now talk about? Can you identify differences over time in your own and
the other person's shared fields of experience?
A: Of course, the easiest answer to this question is my significant other whom I shall name Mr. Bob. I remember the earliest stage of our relationship was definitely an I-It. I was texting a friend of mine and Mr. Bob took his phone and started to "troll" on me. Basically, he would mess with me and pretend he is my friend's twin or brother and created a mystery man figure in my brain. Naturally I am a very curious person so I wanted to find out who he was, but I never got the chance to and I didn't want to ask my friend because it would basically ruin the fun of having a mystery man. Out of the blue I unsuspectingly met him while him and my friend were hanging out and I recognized the way he spoke right away and slapped a picture and name to go with Mr. Bob. I spoke to him more through a social networking site and we quickly became friends. We would message each out around 100-130 messages a day on the site which signifies the I-You relationship. We mostly emailed each other about our day, ask each other some semi-personal questions such as our family and ourselves, the news, and he would constantly crack jokes and I would respond back with a witty response. We didn't really avoid any topic, occasionally I would ask a personal question to probe at his goal and philosophy in life and such or his childhood. We never intentionally asked or avoided any question, however, majority of the things we spoke about were of the present or within the past 5 years. I asked for his cell phone number and started to text Mr. Bob throughout the day. Together we probably sent around 2000 text messages a day. By the time I asked him out on a date we already knew it was the beginning of something because our personalities just clicked. In some ways we were the exact opposite and in some ways we are exactly the same. Most importantly, Mr. Bob cannot stop making jokes which definitely brings joy and happiness. So, our I-Thou relationship developed within 2-3 dates and he is now my greatest support...and human stress ball. Currently we can talk about anything except from past relationships. We have absolutely nothing to hide because of our open-mindedness. Occasionally when we do clash we accept each other for out different thoughts and opinions and respond with why we don't agree or don't believe that is correct (pretty much like a Socratic seminar).
The best relationships are the ones you least expect, I truly must agree. The "I-It" communication makes things seem awkward and hard to believe at first. But then as you start reinforcing certain things and memorize that persons character more you start moving closer to the "I-Thou" communication which is very unique and should be cherished all the time. I'm glad you can recognize what is "real" and how to settle your differenced without calling it quits so soon. I find it amusing how a human can become your "stress ball", those are the ones you should keep around because like only will get harder. So dido to that :)
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh at the part where you described Mr. Bob as a human stress ball! It is amazing to see how your relationship developed from something so small to something so big. I found it absolutely amazing that within 2 to 3 dates that your relationship developed to an i-thou relationship! I know that feeling of getting along with someone so well at such a fast rate. From the way you describe your arguments and differences, it sounds like you guys do not have that much trouble with fighting. I'm sure your relationship will be a long last and thrilling relationship :)
ReplyDeleteThis post made me smile. I find it funny how your guys’ relationship began all from a little troll. I like how you specifically refer to your first chats together as online communication. Surprisingly, online communication is a huge way to get to know someone. Often, I feel like I am able to communicate with certain individuals online only. But, I’m glad that you guys were able to communicate both online and offline. Text messaging and online chatting both make me feel more at ease to talk for some reason. Also, I like how you two still seem like you have a relationship full of jokes and trolling – “human stress ball”.
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